Once upon a time I was a people pleaser, unsure of what I wanted and felt like a victim. My fatherlessness, nomadic and abusive childhood was my badge and barrier to the world leading me to a self imposed prison of bad relationships with men, indebtedness, and big ol’ FEARS! I felt I had been born into the wrong family, at the wrong time and my circumstances would never get better because I was not good enough. The prison I created began very early in my teen years, self loathing, drug & alcohol abuse and hate walls. Life was against me so I escaped into books. I was an avid reader because it provided me a means to escape the world I lived in. I read abut the world, racy romance, animals, nature as young adult novels did not appeal to me, I had grown up fast.
I tested the limits of life in every way possible until I became a mother and went to university, again books opened my mind and life to new experiences and ways of viewing the world. Something in me wanting to emerge yet this time I had someone else to think about so I focused on me, my daughter and finishing college, a fire had been lit within me to be a writer. My prison was grew even more now as I was a single mother, college student – “who did I think I was to believe I could be a writer?” So I got a job and lived the life I was “supposed” to.
Then one day something in me began to whisper “what are you doing with yourself? Who do you want to be?” What are you waiting for?” That whisper changed my life. The life I was living was not mine, it was fear.
Slowly, something new emerged and I saw the walls around me and knew I would never be the same person.
I began to see with different eyes and the walls began to crack, fear was clinging to me for dear life yet I saw the light beyond the walls. I could write every detail of what I went through or I can tell you what got me where I am today by why? I knew then I HAD to go through every single experience I did to get here – the good, bad and ugly.
I am still co-creating my fairy tale by living the happy NOW. Are you living in your past, letting pain and fear write your story or are you creating a better story regardless? My once upon a time stories will only get better and better because now they are created from a place of love. I truly believe each of us decided before we came here to have the lessons, experiences and circumstances in order to teach us what we did not learn previously and that it is up to us to learn in this life time or the next. Because I am a fast learner I am ready for my happily ever after.
Oftentimes in life we prepare for things, a new job, school, or physical exercise as being prepared puts you in the mind set of accepting something new. How then does one prepare for life’s adventure’s, experiences, and situations. As a Spiritual Psychic-Medium, I understand the wanting to know and be prepared for what life will bring yet free will gives the opportunity for intuitive nudges to steer you in the direction of your dreams or a lesson. What I have come to understand is that everything does happen for a reason because God did not create mistakes, nothing is by chance in fact everything is guided to take you where you need to be based on your choice.
As the moon grows full and peaks tomorrow, allow yourself to see what choices you are making in effort to be “ready” for life’s next thing or are you riding the wave of listening and trusting your intuition. What are you focusing on right now? Are you preparing for the best for yourself or worrying with “how”. Life opens up when you do, so why not let it happen? Use this powerful Virgo Full moon to remind yourself that “fate follows the fearless” and choose to leap before you look. You never know what you are really ready for until its time for it to happen.
We all have something that we are afraid of, for me its deep water which comes from a remembrance of drowning in a past life. Yet that is not the kind of the something I am talking about now. Many of us have fears of not being able to do something, have something or be something because we cannot see beyond what others have told us is impossible, not worth it, or can have. Who are we NOT to have the life we dream of? Who says we cannot have, be, and do what we dream to do? It has taken years for me to fully understand this concept because my family, society, past experiences, and allowing other factors to determine my vision blocked this truth and my fear made it true in my mind. Yet I have seen the light and have allowed myself to listen with the wisdom of my heart instead of the confinement of my mind.
Every great athlete has always said they see themselves winning long before they ever take a shot. I am asking you to take a shot now- where is your focus, what is the shot you long to make? My mentor, teacher, and friend Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith says “You can start with nothing, and out of nothing, and out of no way, a way will be made.” BELIEVE IT!!!
We can only have a dream manifest we when we ALLOW it beloved. Let go of the need to know the outcome, let go of the restricting past, and let go of what others think, you deserve your dreams that is why the Universe planted them within you. It is not by accident you want to paint, write, draw, sing, create, and SHARE this is what we they are within us to EXPRESS. Now it the the time, no more waiting. Believe in YOU and the universe will answer. Begin with “I AM” Claim your gifts, they are inside you waiting to serve, shine & share!
Recently I read something recently that shifted me because it is what I have been experiencing. As a young woman, single mother & teacher, I longed to fit in and belong to society – its ways, its “laws” & conformity. The fear of not living up to the expectations, the failure others expected, and the dependency of my daughter on me kept me closed, afraid, and silent.
Today, I cannot recognize that person, she is within me and taught me many lessons yet I am the woman I dreamt of being. Life is to be lived through experience not only lessons, debts, and jobs, I learned a long time ago that there is no value in the experiences I’ve had that money can buy. My life is beyond material wealth, it is filled with laughter, grace, loss, freedom, independence, peace, gratitude, passion, sensuality, creativity, faith & LOTS of love – for myself, everyone & the world. The people, the culture, the food, the sights – ALL of it is within me now and goes with me where ever I am and this is something no one can take from me.
When it is my turn to go back into Spirit form, I will have these moments to take into the next life. Beloved, how are you living? What dreams are within you wanting freedom to express, where do YOU want to go?
I get it. Let’s chat, figure it out together & set you on your course of self discovery.
Prayer is a part of my daily life not only as a spiritual practice, but as a way of life. Understanding the meaning, purpose, and practice of praying has opened, healed, and transformed me because it allows me to commune with my inner wisdom. The God of my understanding has given me opportunities to become the person, woman, teacher, healer, and writer that is within.
Everyday i allow myself to learn something new as a part of my evolution. One of the most important is understanding the inner guidance prayer provides. It is in the willingness new ideas, opportunities, and experiences present themselves as answered prayers. We are upon a new beginning with the Solar eclipse, super new moon, Spring equinox as it ushers in the freshness of newness that comes with this time before Easter. Now is the time to decide what needs to be let go, be cleared, cleaned, and revived. Be gentle with yourself now and set intentions knowing your answered prayer awaits. Set it, trust in it, and set it free – the Universe will do the rest so have faith your dreams & prayers deserved to be made manifest.
Who are YOU choosing to be? I recently had a revelation about what this question is asking because it is more than just what we read on the surface. This question raises others including what am I doing? What am I allowing? What are the outer circumstances? How I am reacting to them? So instead of answering all of them “who I am choosing to be” cuts through the others and in essence shifts your perspective. The mind (ego) has convinced us that we need to wear masks at different times with different people in certain circumstances yet the one thing most people say is they want authenticity, but are afraid to show themselves. SO again, the question shows us where we hide, buffer, shield, and protect ourselves from the realness and love we crave. A Course in Miracles says, “You are as God created you. There is no place where you can suffer, and no time that can bring change to your eternal state. How can a world of time & space exist, if you remain as God created you?” When you allow yourself to breathe this Truth in you see that who you choosing to be is either in alignment with your Spirit or your ego (fear). The holy instant you decide to give up the mask, a miracle has occurred. Remember beloved, you are are perfect, whole, and complete because you are as God created you. The past has no relevance in your today unless you give it.
“The Son/Daughter of God is limitless.” Happy Weekend. #BeAPrayer